It’s been ages since I’ve blogged…
Blame it on a break-up, a massively demanding internship and just my not always wanting to be super exposed, I suppose.
There have been many times when I’ve put pen to paper and even typed out some stuff but a part of me has always believed that there are parts that you should keep just for you so those little gems are in a book somewhere, very unlikely to see the light of day.
Last night, however, I went to watch my 6-year-old niece’s concert at her school. She was a cute little dancer dancing for Jesus because she goes to a Christian primary school.
My niece was the best little dancer – obviously, all Mosupi women are genetically designed to be able to cut-a-rug and shake a tail with little effort.
Besides my bias judging of who the best little dancer was, I also managed to have a little bit of an epiphany as I watched her and all the other 5 and 6-year-olds shimmy shimmy for the Big J.
As I looked at my niece who resembles me as though I was her mother, I got a flashback of the me I used to be. A cute, confident little girl who was concerned with only what she wanted and needed to do from moment to moment without worrying about other people.
Children are fantastic in that way. They aren’t tied down by people’s opinions and aren’t worried about looking dumb or sounding unintelligent or have any of that self-deprecating bullshit that we adopt along the way because of societal pressures and all that other bullshit that we use an excuse and justification for allowing ourselves to shrink and almost be invisible.
I would have never thought I would learn a huge life lesson from my 6-year-old twin niece but it just goes to show that you never know where life’s gems are going to come from. You never know when the next great thing is going to come to you and you never know who the deliverer of this delight is going to be.
I think we need to throw caution to the wind and channel our inner 6-year-old and remember what it really is to live in the moment. To dance like no one is watching – and even if they are, to keep dancing anyway because you are just that confident and comfortable in your skin.
It’s one thing to walk and talk and behave as if you really don’t give a damn what people think, say or even see when they look at you but it’s a completely different thing to actually think, feel and live that way.
I’m 24 and of course life has thrown some horrendous curveballs at me that are likely to have left me a tad jaded but honestly, neither I nor you have to embrace the bad shit as much as we do and allow it to be an excuse to be only a fraction of who you are.
So, don’t be surprised when you see me dancing, singing and living as though you aren’t there watching because in as much as no man is an island and we all live in a time where social propriety is something to always be aware of and all that, before I am anyone’s daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and someone’s future girlfriend or wife, I am Azizzar. A person with hopes, dreams, goals and things that just make ME happy and that’s what I think being 6, and actually living, is about.
My name is Azizzar and I’m consciously making the decision to be 6 again… Feel free to join me.